We launched our branded merch store in September 2023 to mark WIRED's 30th birthday. The response has been amazing--which we fully expected, since our readers have been asking us to sell WIRED shirts, tote bags, and the like for almost as long as we've been around. Now, we've given SHOP.WIRED a midsummer glow-up and added a few new items. There's an 11-ounce WIRED/TIRED mug, with "WIRED" on one side and "TIRED" on the other so you can communicate exactly how caffeinated (or uncaffeinated) you are whenever you lift the vessel to your lips. There's also an adjustable hat with "Angry Nerd" on the front, a throwback to one of WIRED's most popular columns and a way to announce to the world that you're mad about something.

Please don't complain to me about literally anything if you've touched human flesh since March. Being very single, I have not, and my Grubhub guy doesn't want a hug. So I am doomed, instead, to online dating in the context of a pandemic. Let me walk you through the torture. It starts typically enough, with endless scrolling through profiles of now-offensively-irrelevant travel photos.

And it's no Lee Israel--she'd balk at all the fast- flying verbal inanities. I speak of Smart Reply, Google's answer, in the form of a triad of autogenerated responses, to the problem of email. Just the other day, it saw fit to butt-reply to a frenemy of mine, "I'll be there!" This in response to an invitation I had planned to ignore. Not only do I now have to attend; I must be excited!